Sunday, June 14, 2009

why top gun is a stupid movie

since i didn't want a picture of tom cruise on my blog for any reason whatsoever i chose a picture of val kilmer as the ice man. this picture is from top gun, it's just not super recognizable. anyway, so one of my thirty before thirty goals was to watch top gun. this was because people are always talking about this movie or making references to it (i feel the need, the need for speed) and i, never having seen it, was always totally in the dark. so sarah netflixed it and we watched it. with all the talk i was always hearing about this film, i expected more. much much more. but it was HORRIBLE. what a terribly made movie. why, why, why is this movie so popular? even in relation to other movies back then, it's terrible. here are some of the reasons why:

this movie has the WORST music of any movie i've ever heard. how many times can you play 'take my breath away' in one movie? holy cow. i never thought that was a bad song before, but now i will cringe every time i hear it.

the editing in this film is horrendous. there were so many shots that were held out way too long and so many shots that flipped by so quickly you couldn't even see what was going on. some examples: the "romantic" scenes. the camera stays and stays even though the actors finished their lines two minutes ago. it's just awkward. and the flying scenes. half the time i had no idea who was who or what was going on at all. the shots would cut away before the actor has finished moving. just bad.

the romantic story line is AWFUL. he sings to her, she rejects him. he goes into the girls bathroom and basically tries to get her to have sex with him right there on the bathroom floor (gross). she rejects him. but then they see each other again and suddenly she is totally into him because he is a famous pilot. a friend later announces that tom cruise's character is totally in love with kelly mcgillis's character. and they've known each other what? like four days? it's an absolute joke. and oh my gosh quit playing that song!

the whole story line in general is garbage. it constantly amazes me what crap people will make into movies. as long as they have a major headliner then people will go see it, so really it's the actor's faults. all actors should be made to take a class on how to tell the difference between a good screenplay and a crappy screenplay. and for the love this one was terrible. the lines were laughable at best and the story just ridiculous. 'talk to me goose, talk to me.' and of course with no effort on the part of the main character to change whatsoever everything works out for him in the end. right. so realistic.

there are many more reasons that this is a bad movie. these are just the ones that really stick out to me.

the only redeeming factor in this movie is that val kilmer is in it, who i believe to be a decent actor. although this is probably his worst role. the scene where he apologizes to tom cruise about goose is just silly. he takes a sharp breath between every sentence and looks at the ceiling in such a ridiculous fashion i wondered how he ever got another acting job. and i think that scene is the best acting in the movie. really i do. (note: this scene is also an example of how crappy the directing was. but i could write a whole blog post about just that, so i'll just let it go with this: the directing was abysmal.)

i guess it could be argued that anthony edwards is also a decent actor, especially since we didn't realize who he was til the credits started rolling. but that's really debatable...

look-it's the guy from ER!

1 comment: