confidence that spring will come again

okay, i admit i've been pretty lame about blogging this year. i don't know what happened. i guess i just lost my voice for awhile. but i'm back. i'm determined to keep this up more. also, i'm bored, which probably has a great something to do with it. i know i know, only boring people get bored, but i guess i'm becoming more boring these days. this is probably because my work keeps hiring new people and so the shifts available are pretty sparse. right now i'm on call--which a few months ago would have meant i'd be working right now, but these days means i get paid a buck fifty an hour to do online crossword puzzles, watch 30 rock reruns, and blog. not super exciting. anyway, there's really not any point to this entry--just to say that i'm going to try harder to blog more often. and keep up with all your blogs. i have a lot of catch up to do so i best get started...

safety glasses

one of the many jobs i do at work is to go to patient's rooms and get some different signatures that may be needed depending on the patient. i have met some really cool people and heard/seen some crazy stuff doing this. the other day i was in one of the icu's (intensive care unit) and i met a patient who told me he had gotten a toothpick in his brain. what? no, no, his wife explained, it was just a piece of wood. it had barely missed his eye and shot right into his brain. i was so amazed at his seemingly complete recovery and what had led up to it that in the several minutes we were talking i never got around to asking what he had been doing in the first place. i couldn't sleep that night thinking about all the ways he could have gotten a piece of wood stuck in his brain. and now i'll never know. but i did learn one thing: always wear safety glasses when doing anything where there is a possibility of something getting in your eyes because you might not just poke an eye out. you might end up in the neuro icu.

30 b4 30 update

seeing as i just had a birthday, and i have one less year to finish my 30 before 30 list, i figured i needed to update you all on my quest. so here it goes...

i was just going to type the ones i have accomplished, but i think i need more motivation so i'm putting the whole list here again so i can see how much more i have to do.

1. dye my hair blonde--check! i've been a blonde for an entire year now. in case you're wondering, no i don't think blondes have more fun. but they do get hit on more often.
2. own all seasons of the cosby show--so so so close. one left to go.
3. live alone without any other people--not close at all
4. visit all those people in ha-WA-ii
5. run a mile without dying--laughably easy. it's remarkable what a breeze it is to run a mile when you...TRY
6. learn to play chess--i now own a chess board, so i'm on my way
7. go on a cruise
8. stop biting my nails--i think i get half credit here at least. i stopped biting my nails completely. then i went home for christmas, was super stressed, and bit all my nails off. but i'm back on track and it's been two months. so half credit.
9. invent something
10. see topgun--seen. wrote a blog with my (negative) review.
11. take my picture in times []--done done and done!
12. taste edible gold
13. finish that stupid cross stitch project i started in 7th grade
14. read anna karenina--started. kind of slow going.
15. go to a music concert
16. own all brand new socks at some one point--my friends bought me some new socks to start my collection...so i've started this ;)
17. learn spanish
18. own a fancy camera and actually take pictures (do this before 11) --done and done before 11
19. do a backflip--i can bend almost all the way back. a little more practice and i'll be there.
20. play the cello
21. take a cooking class
22. give more to charity than i can afford
23. get my teeth whitened
24. learn to surf or sail
25. get my portrait painted--and like it
26. build/re-do a piece of furniture
27. buy and learn the ukulele
28. learn to ride
29. MACHU PICCHU
30.

and so. five and a half done. three pretty close-ish. two that i've started. so not too shabby. i need to pick up the pace a bit, but i'm on my way to finishing them by 2014.

birthday fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yesterday was my birthday!!!!! it was awe-some! the one day a year i set aside completely for myself always leaves me amazed at how blessed i am. my birthday is better every single year, mostly because i have the GREATEST friends that anyone ever could have. ever. seriously, it blows me away how exceptional they all are.

so my birthday started out with a day of work. i chose to work (even though i could have taken it off) because i love the kids and i love the people i work with. sarah brought a giant cookie to school so i could share it with the kids. (they asked if she was my mom hahahaha!) it was a little rough in the afternoon though. the kids were being particularly annoying and i could feel a headache coming on.but nothing bad can happen on my birthday so i popped a couple ibprofen and left work as soon as the kids were gone. i picked up a balloon bouquet on my way home that a wonderful friend living on the other side of the US sent me. then on to the roller-rink where i got to rollerskate with some close friends for a few hours. rollerskating is one of my favorite activities. it's a little bit like flying if you go fast enough.

we then went to sarah's parent's house, where we met a few more friends who made us AMAZING homemade pizza. i was showered with cheesecake and awesome gifts and we played black ball white ball and urn ping pong all night. i laughed so hard my face hurt. it was a really great day and i am so thankful for the many wonderful friends i have. i hope you all know how great you are. my life would be so much lamer without you :)

announcing...

the countdown to my birthday!!!!!!! the day has arrived: two weeks until my birthday!! there are exactly 14 days until my birthday! one half of the month left til it's MY birthday!!!!! and in case you didn't get it from the last four sentences: MY BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy chinese new year...

and valentine's day! valentine's day has sure come a long way. you can click here to read history.com's extremely non-committal article about the orgins of valentine's day. an interesting fact from this essay: 85% of valentine's are purchased by women. i did in fact have to buy some valentine's this year. i forgot to grab the free ones we're allowed to give the kids at work, so i ran to smith's and bought some two dollar batman valentines and scrawled my kid's names on them. truth is they'll never even notice that i got them a valentine, but you know, it's what you do when you work at a school.
this year i learned how to make cheese fondue. my past experience with fondue has been chocolate fondue from a fountain at weddings and banquets. and it always tasted nasty. based on these experiences i decided that i hated fondue. so when i was invited to a fondue party i figured it would not be so great. i was in charge of the cheese fondue (which i'd never had before). i found a recipe and whipped it up. not so bad. don't use swiss cheese in fondue though. it makes it all clumpy and won't stay melted like other cheeses will. my friend had fondue chocolate chips. they melted quickly and hardened on the food quickly. but it tasted okay. not like the nasty pants fountains from the weddings. but last night i discovered the trick to really great fondue. get a really good chocolate bar and melt it it the microwave. not hershey's or anything like that. real chocolate. no silly fondue pot is necessary. it stays melted for awhile without any extra heat. and it tastes amazing...no matter what you put it on ;)

dying young

so wayne state university (where the heck is that?) did a study and found that people whose name starts with the letter D die earlier than other people. obviously this is ridiculous. and stupid. but the most embarrassing part is the reason they give for this finding. hahahahaha. read it here. it's only one paragraph so i think you can manage it.

isn't it ironic...don't you think?

technology has created quite a few social phenomenons in recent years. one of them being that texting has become many people's main form of communication. this has resulted in a myriad of impersonal personal relationships. i must admit i love texting. i mean, there are so many good uses for it. for example, yesterday i sent a text with one question to someone i don't talk to often enough. and she sent me back the answer. simple as that. i didn't have time at that moment to have the necessary conversation filling each other in on the going-ons of our lives. i will soon, but just not yesterday. another good use is when you've already talked to the person twice that day and having to say all the "how are you"s and the "okay, talk to you later"s over again becomes awkward. in this case you can just continue your conversation through texts. quite useful.

it is, of course, illegal to drive and text in utah, but there may be a possibility that i still flipped open my phone occasionally and got out a text. of course, if i had done this i would never have taken my eyes off the road. no need, you see, because i could feel the buttons and would have had them memorized. however, with the recent acquirement of a touch screen phone, it is no longer possible to text while driving. not that i would or anything...mmhmm. this situation has caused an interesting anomaly. as i drive through a city i'll feel my phone vibrate and i find myself wishing for red lights. red lights so i can stop and read my text and answer and continue my impersonal but useful conversation. of course, when i wish for red lights they always seem to be green...but then, that's not the ironic part now is it?

to write of love

w.h. auden wrote about love like this:

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.


my favorite line is obviously "time watches from the
shadow and coughs where you would kiss."  it's great.
the second to last stanza is really beautiful though.
really.